According to statistics, nearly half of married women are confident enough that the child communicates with his father.The most interesting thing is that men, too, recognize.However, only 36%.Remaining convinced that the fumes are paying very close attention.At the same time about 12% of women say that their husbands do not just deal with little children, and generally behave as if they have no children.
Son - friendship, daughter - praise
Psychologists are convinced that children of any age in need of love and attention of his father.And any gender.According to experts, if the boy does not feel the support of his father, he "soaks up" the mother's pattern of behavior in which the man's role is simply slack.
As a result, a boy can not only become a "mama's boy", but as an adult, to create inferior family.After all, to become a man, little man born - we also need a role model.The boy must feel like a man, act like a man, etc.
Girls - its relationship with the pope.After all, his father helping her daughter to realize that she is beautiful, smart, successful.Mom can repeat a hundred times that my daughter - the beautiful and clever, but it is likely to miss the words deaf ears.If you make a compliment to the father, the daughter will remember it for a long time, and most importantly - believe in what she is really clever and beautiful.
In addition, girls tend to want to see their elected representatives in the same qualities, which liked her father.That is, it becomes a dad of the bar to which all candidates have to jump on her hand and heart ...
That's why it is so important to tear your husband from your favorite newspapers and TV, reminding him that he has a child whoit needs (you can even slip it to read the text).Psychologists believe that, even if the father is a daily pay his offspring just 30 minutes, the child will feel more secure, confident and happy.What the children are waiting for attention from their fathers?
from zero to five: see and hear
during infancy baby the most important thing - to see and feel close not only the mother, but also dad.Studies have shown that babies whose fathers took their education in the most active part, rarely cry, they are not afraid of strangers, more calm.
Because at this stage of the pope required the same thing, in fact, from my mother - often take the child in his arms, stroking him, talk to him.Let the kid will not understand what Dad mutters his husky bass, but affectionate tone surely catch.
So, persuaded her husband not to be afraid of a little son or daughter (many men do not take children into his arms, citing the fact that they could accidentally hurt them).Display spouse, how to hold the baby, how to bathe, feed, etc.
Worse, if a man sees the baby as a rival who stole the lion's share of your attention.In this case, make it clear to my husband that you know how it is not easy - paternal instinct is formed gradually, and step over your ego sometimes difficult.But explain to his wife that love to a child in any way does not cancel your love for him.
And be closely during this period for his half.How do I find the British and American scientists, 5% of men sometimes develop a real ... postpartum depression.
If you see that your spouse after the birth of a baby has become aggressive, or, conversely, depressed, call it to a frank talk (better yet, consult with a therapist).After all, such behavior bounces her husband not only on his own health, but also on the health of the child ....
According to scientists, boys 3-5 years of age behavior problems in 2 times more common in those whose fathers suffered from postpartum depression.(Girls, however, this effect was less pronounced. It seems that women inherently more robust psyche ...)
So the conclusion is simple: the child must see the pope in a good mood!Even if he had all hands on deck at work.Even if his favorite football team lost a shameful account.Even if carp fishing bait spits, and mother-in-law for a month talking through his teeth ...
five to nine: do without criticism!
At this time, Dad could play with your child in active games.Yes, even on the same soccer or hockey (by the way, many girls chase the ball and washer too willingly).We guarantee: the two sides will be satisfied!
There is another nice "side effect" of such communication.Studies show that fathers during the games give the child more space than the mother.Representatives of the stronger sex allow children to experiment, getting acquainted with the world.Moms tend now and then restrict child: "Do not go there, it is dangerous!", "Get off the tree, not the fall!", "Getting out of puddles - wet feet", etc.
However, until the child gets acquainted with the surrounding world, the father should refrain from criticizing the child.Otherwise, the child will not enjoy the game.It is much better to praise him for his success - he is elated.
Because no remarks like, "Come on down, you did not know how to climb a rope!" Or "Who takes the ball well!Where did you grow up arms! ".If your child has something wrong, we need to show what to do.
Another honorary function that you can assign to the husband - performance of lessons.Optional constantly sit with the child, but to check, whether the son has solved a problem in mathematics, Dad is quite able (and my mother at this time can safely cook pasta or wash clothes).
asked her husband to redouble attention if you have preschool-age son.During this period, gender identity - a complex process, when she "reads" and "absorbs" the behavior of the mother, the boy - his father.Ask your husband to be particularly attentive to his son.Let often talk about something else, men, go for a walk together, etc.
From nine to fifteen: become friends!
During this period, the father's role is further increased.It often becomes a dad expert on school issues.It is he who teaches his son how to behave with their peers (and, if necessary, explain how to resist them).It is he who tells the boy about the physiological changes that await him (the girl in the intimate topics to talk better mother).
However, sometimes the opposite happens - the relationship between father and son in a given period of sharply deteriorating.Psychologists attribute this to the fact that the teenager, seeing a father competitor, is trying to prove to him and all around his position.And if the father, in turn, also wants to "squeeze it to the nail," good relations are interrupted.
why most optimal during adolescence - adhere to the policy of friendly neutrality.Practical advice can afford threat - never.
relationship between father and her teenage daughter - generally a separate issue.Many representatives of the stronger sex hesitate to bathe their daughters, even when they are six months.When the young lady will knock fifteen years and it will begin to paint her lips, wearing a short skirt and meet with the boys, fathers generally lost.
As it behave?Can I be punished and if so, how?The angle can not put on a soft place not shlepnesh - still almost a girl ... or it is better to put under house arrest?
Many fathers, and not finding the answers to these questions are simply excluded from the grown-up daughters to hide his embarrassment over mock severity, or a cynical mockery.However, according to psychologists, is a big mistake!At best, she felt embarrassed the pope will be the "rock" of his money.In the worst - mortally offended at his father's indifference.She does not understand why suddenly fell out of favor ...
most optimal, which can make your husband during this period - to become friends with her daughter.If she made some unseemly offense, the father can and should talk to her, explaining why she was wrong (for the daughter of father's opinion is very important!).But allow yourself to humiliate daughter can not be - it will cause her complexes for life.
Articles Source: mamam-papam.ru
