Communicating with children, we have not really thought about how they perceive addressed to them words and phrases.It is hard to imagine, but our words and thoughts have magical powers.Only one phrase can deprive life of meaning, hope to kill, and can give confidence to laugh, to comfort, to help build faith and love.
a child-phrase program easily digested as a child mind control is lower than in adults.Any careless word literally perceived by children.Parents, often without realizing it, according to the child with a hidden phrase installation, which is not always in their favor.Of course, it happens unconsciously, we are trying to help, but use the wrong phrase.
Today we look at commonly used phrases and define how the child hears them.
Danger
«Do not go through the puddles, cold," "There's the dog - bite," "Eat slowly, stomach will hurt," etc.
child hears that the world is hostile.Everything that he did, dangerous.That is, it is better to do nothing.
In the future it will be enough to act, afraid to take a step towards peace, it would be difficult to achieve success in cases where a determination.
What to do? says: "Let's clothe rubber boots and will run through the puddles together!", "Please be careful, take care of yourself," "Let's play a game, someone in the family chew? '.
That is, to explore the world with your baby together.Tell him the consequences of meeting with a menacing dog and do not forget to tell us that there are good dogs.Allow the child to make a mistake.After all, he knows the world is not on your instructions, but in their feelings, emotions and actions.
Do not cry!
«Do not cry!", "Why do you behave like a little?", "Do not cry for the whole house," "Do not talk so loud»
child hears that you can not show their emotions.For the parents scold."I'd rather be silent" - he thinks.
In the future, people will be closed, very silent.All the emotions that the kid keeps can break free in the form of aggression, or conversely, excessive tearfulness.
What to do? Try to understand what the child is feeling, help him deal with his condition.Ask: "Are you scared?" "Tell me what's bothering you," "Come on, we pokrichim loudly in the street.Will you go? ".
Compare
«Look what a good boy playing next to," "Vasya wrote a test better than you.Why? "" That's what the girl is good, and you? »
child hears that it is worse than others.He does not have anything unique, he does not.
In the future, people will consider himself unworthy of a good.He will not try to go forward, knowing that lose.
What to do? Focus on the positive aspects of your child.Do not forget that each person has unique qualities that are worthy of praise.Most say the kid what he done, and how well he gets: "You are very well write essays!You have talent, "" You sweetheart, smart, I'm proud of you. "
Do not be greedy!
«Share with Katya his toy now!", "How can you be so greedy, not let dad play with the machine?»
child hears nothing of it.All - someone else's.He has yet to give.He and his feelings are not important.
In the future, people may be sacrificial, giving people themselves to exhaustion, leaving wow.
Here is an excellent example of this theme: Imagine you come to visit a friend, opens the closet and begins to measure all of your things to show off and take some yourself.Would you like it?Similarly, the children, especially in the age of 3-5 years, when formed a sense of ownership, do not like to give up their toys.
What to do? Allow the child the right to dispose of their own things.Do not take into account the common stereotype that should be taught from the cradle to share.Say: "Perhaps you want to change the toys with the girl?" "Daddy can not play with you if you do not give toys."Accept any answer.No means no.
Let me help
«You've been vozishsya the castle, let me help you!", "What are you digging, go away, I'll gather your toys»
child hears that he is incompetent, thathe did not work anyway.Then why bother?
In the future, he can forget what to do something on their own, will require others to do everything for him, and blame the world is that all it is something they should.
What to do? Let your child of their own zip lock, be patient with his first failure and encouraged him saying, "You will succeed, you're done!".
Consolation
«Uh, how bad the table, hit you, let it will beat."
child hears, I'm good, bad world.So the world does not need, and I need it.The world is changing constantly offended.
In the future, may form the program - the desire to make others hurt bad.Man will exalt himself, without respecting other people.He will be the victim of this world, constantly blaming him for everything that happens.
What to do?Talk to your baby often : "Are you hurt?Where does it hurt?All will soon be over, "" Nothing happens "or" Next time be more careful. "
In fact, the list of such phrases is endless.Some affect the future more children, some less.
most important thing is to understand that words can both inspire and destroy everything that is in your child's wonderful.
It is very important to treat a child as an independent person, and quite reasonable, to allow him to explore the world, to learn from their own mistakes.Most
tell your child the word Support and praise.Try to find in his krovinushku those unique qualities that it laid the nature and develop them.And most importantly, you love your child, because it is born of love all those lofty qualities that we so appreciate in others.And, of course, serve a good example!
Articles Source: vospitaj.com
