Their age - 13, 15, 17 years ... and they cut their skin with a razor or a tourniquet on his cigarette.They are more than we think, experts say.And explains: so teens report their experiences of acute and ask for help.
«I am 14 years old.When scandals in school become unbearable, I take a penknife and try to make yourself as painfully as possible.When you do not have a knife, I pierce the skin of a ballpoint pen or scratch themselves until blood.I do not know why, but when I do, I feel better.As if I pull the splinter out of the body.I'm all right? "- Reported disturbing letters from teenagers.
There are letters from their parents: "My daughter is 15 years old.Recently I noticed on her arm burn marks.Talk about this fails, it takes my word any hostility and refuses to meet with a psychologist.I feel completely helpless and do not know what to do now. "
blade traces on the forearm, cigarette burns on the body, rugged feet - nearly 38% of teenagers at least once tried to hurt your body.The realization that your own child is currently causing damage leads parents horrified.Automatically, a reflex, a desire to save him from the pain faced with an unusual obstacle - the lack of external threats and enemies.And the question remains: "Why did he do it?".
contact with your body
have maturing children around 11-12 years changing desires, interests, behavior - their inner world becomes another.It is especially difficult teenagers adapt to changes of your body.Extends his arms and legs, gait changes, other movements are plastic, the voice.The body suddenly starts to behave willfully: erotic fantasies and treacherous spontaneous erections in males;monthly, often painful, the girls can also start at any time - at school, in training.
«The body becomes like something separate - says family therapist Ina Khamitov.- Make yourself hurt - one of the ways to get in contact with him.The behavior of teenagers gesture reminiscent of a man who dreams of a terrible dream: he wants to stop it, to pinch myself and wake up. "
frightening world
At 37 Tatiana clearly remembers the years when she cut his thigh: "I grew up in a family where it was forbidden to complain - my parents did not understand.Becoming a teenager, I could not find the words to express all the things that tormented me at that moment, and I began to cut himself.Now I understand that it was a way not only to deceive adults, but also comfort myself: Now I know why I feel so bad. "
many modern teenagers, as well as once Tatyana, it is difficult to express their feelings - they know themselves enough, and frightens them distrust adults to their senses.Moreover, many simply are not able to talk openly and honestly about themselves.With no other means to remove mental stress, teenagers make yourself feel pain.
«So they struggle with immeasurable suffering - says psychotherapist Elena Wrona - it is difficult to trust yourself, if you believe that no one understands you, and the world is hostile.And even if it is not, the behavior of many teenagers controls precisely this view of themselves and the world. "
Nevertheless, their actions, frightening adults who are not connected with the desire to give up his life;on the contrary, they confirm the will to live - to cope with suffering and bring peace of mind.
Pain pain
paradox of the moment is that teenagers, damaging your body, experiencing ... childish sense of its own omnipotence.
«The body is the only reality that is wholly owned by them alone - explains Inna Khamitov.- Is damaged, they can at any time stop.Controlling your body so wild (in terms of adults), they feel that their lives and run.And it brings them to reality. "
Physical pain is always mutes the soul, that they fail to control, because you can not make love to someone you love yourself, you can not change the parents ... It may point to experiences of violence (psychological, physical or sexual).
«Demonstrating the wounds that caused a teenager himself - says sociologist David Le Breton.- He unconsciously draws attention to the fact that it is not visible.The cruelty that children exhibit about themselves, allowing them not to show it to others.It operates on the principle of blood-letting in the old days: relieves excessive internal stress. "
They hurt myself, to no longer feel pain.Many teenagers talk about the feeling of relief that comes after the self-inflicted wounds.
, writes and 20-year-old Galina: "After the cuts comes a moment of absolute happiness.All the gloomy feeling as if flowed out of me with the blood.I pulled on the bed, and I finally felt better. "
It is this peace entails the risk of becoming dependent: destroy yourself to feel better.It is based on the analgesic effect of the action of endorphins - hormones that are produced in the body to numb the pain.
Parents who suspect that their children can resort to the help of cutting tools, should pay attention to the following.If a teenager puts in the heat long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants, it is likely that he is trying to hide something.Nervous outbreak, sudden mood changes, intense anger, change of attitude to food and sleep can also serve as warning signals.It should be remembered that teenagers in general are known for their instability, and it is necessary to distinguish the symptoms of puberty painful craving for self-harm.
«If your child suddenly thought so, but after half an hour with might and main fun - experts say - you have to ask, what happened in those thirty minutes.And keep an eye on the blade boxes and packaging adhesive tape. "
And another important recommendation, this time by the children.The best thing they can do - is to share their problems with parents, teachers and friends.Equally important for the teenager to be honest with yourself.
«Look forward!You yourself, not your unhealthy subconscious mind must become the master of your life. "
One user on the Internet once asked a lover cut his hands: "Maybe you should try to cut the tree?" Joke?Sure.But as they say, every joke has some truth.
Articles Source: psychologies.ru
