teacher tells high school students:
- Guys, please be aware that I always notice when someone sends an SMS to the lesson.
all grin and someone asks:
- Well, how do you do it?
- It is very simple to determine the one who does it: no one in the world will not just tilt your head, look into his crotch and smiling.
***
- Yesterday all day staring at the black box!
- The museum was?
- The monitor is not working!
***
concert acts young singer.Well, sing a song, take leave, he wants to leave.Hall noise, shouting: "Come on !!! more" sang again, again to take leave, the hall does not let up: "More !!ยป
What sings the third time ... Hall still ...
It uctalo:
-Lord, how many are possible yes, I'm tired! ..
voice from the audience:
- until you learn!
***
compromise - an art to divide a cake so that everyone was sure that he got the best piece.
***
Cidit sdudent late tormented drawings (tomorrow take the course).Can not get in time.Here comes the Fairy and says:
- was three of your wishes.Guessing first.
- Let all the drawings will be ready!
fairy waved her wand, and all the drawings there also are ready.Ink calligraphy.
- Well, now second guessing.
- ... some coffee to drink ...
Fairy waved, and on the desk there was a cup of steaming coffee.
- Well, let's have a third guessing.
student thought and thought and said:
- And now would have to have sex ...
Fairy took the cup, and knocked to the drawings ...
***
Once a little girl in the dead of winter, and went into the forestI lost.
But the Christmas story, as everything ended well: no one noticed the loss of the girl - and the festival continues!
***
joke should be as diarrhea - sudden and unexpected.
***
Childhood ends when the playground at you strange looks.
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Happiness - is when a pharmacy other than condoms do not need anything!
***
cadet learned all tickets on philosophy, but did not go to the exam, because life has no meaning, and all the people in her pawns.
***
husband decided to attend the birth.
Entered rodzal - fainting - pumped.
wife started to give birth - fainting - pumped and so a couple of times.Woke up, he was told:
- congratulations, you become a dad!
- who?
- daughter!
- well, thank God, at least not suffer as I am!
***
friend said.The son of a friend sitting in the arms of my mother, they are standing in line at the airport.Ahead of him standing with his back to the shapely blonde with beautiful long hair.He holds them a little plump hands and said wistfully:
- Klasiiivaya!
Suddenly the blonde turns around and looks at him.He adds fright:
- Oh ... posuti-posuti ...
***
Lying in a hospital in the ENT department at night put the bucket in the hallway, where to put the jar for urine analysis.
a bucket and says "urine" ...
So in fact found some wise guy thought of Nassau in this bucket (and not so little))) and bumazhechki (direction) placed next to ....))))
***
Usually, in the hen house, those who put off till tomorrow what had to be postponed today - the first candidates for a trip to the bar and grill.
***
Boy (7) and his sister (4) eat cabbage salad.The boy says:
- We're like two goat.
Sister:
- Goat here alone, and I - Bunny ...
Articles Source: RUNET
