About 1 January

pervoyanvarskogo little humor ...

January 1 - "Independence Day of the musculoskeletal system."Patron feast of old considered the Holy Citramon.Celebration begins at 8 pm.The signal for the beginning of the festival is to call the question "Che was yesterday?"

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morning on January 1st.

note on the table:

Happy New Year!

P.S.Brine refrigerated.

P.P.S.Refrigerator in the kitchen.

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January 1st.Morning.Our neubivaemy hard janitor sweeping the falling snow.And then agonizing groan at the whole court:

- Man, do not!Not methylene!I AM ALIVE!

Lane large snowdrift stirred and crawled ...

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- My children!I'm dying, bring me a glass of water ...

- Father, January 1, all die, take himself bring.

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morning on January 1st.Shop.

- girl, and you have bread fresh?

- NO!Last year!

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heated in the microwave jelly - a sign of a successful meeting of the New Year.Wash it to everyone now ...

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Seller remarkable observation, he made 1 January:

"In the morning, the store was nobody ... then pulled the children with the notes."

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January 1st born those with parents is good joke on April 1?))

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Talking Points 1 January:

- How useful person to sleep in the salad?

- Olivier - cosmetic facial mask or is it a salad?

- Is it true that the mayonnaise from Olivier wrinkles?

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- What distinguishes Russia from the European cat?

- the fact that Russian cat on a genetic level realizes that meow and ask for food in the morning on January 1, is not to completely useless, but also dangerous to life ...

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Two homeless after the New Yearholiday exchanged impressions:

- I met a great New Year!I came out of the basement, look for landing a bottle of vodka - 100 grams of unfinished, I peered into the tank - a sandwich with caviar, once bitten.He drank, ate, walked down the street ... Beauty!

- Lucky!And the whole holiday home sat: some kid put the roller on the hatch.

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Entrance 1 January morning.Spat, covered with fragments of bottles and bulls trampled floor.All this is beautifully covered with confetti ... opens the doors of one of the apartments.On the threshold of something appears in a tracksuit, with a swollen face and eyes-slits.Casting a glance and the surrounding area with a heavy sigh, bends, raking a pile of bulls, is a, lights a cigarette and puffing blissfully, utters:

- Oh, x-sho ...

opens the door opposite.At the opening there is another Something, something vaguely looks like the first one.The ritual is repeated.Sigh, search goby and blissful "Oh» ...

first miracle:

- Pryvt ...

second miracle:

- Pryvt ...

first miracle:

- Snvym godm?

second miracle:

- and cha ...

first miracle:

- Nina And your still asleep?

second miracle:

- You Th, an idiot?Nina - that's me!

first miracle:

- A-ah ... Yeah ... and my sleeping too ...

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girl's father:

- Young man!You promised me to bring my daughter home for the New Year, that is twelve o'clock in the morning!And now four in the morning.... And anyway, it's not my daughter!

Articles Source: RUNET