appearance of the youngest child in the family is always a jealous older.How to cope with this feeling and help to overcome the first-born in the difficult period of his life?
Senior toddler begins to feel jealous of the youngest child almost from the first day of its appearance after being discharged from the hospital.And this despite the fact that during pregnancy the children often look forward to the appearance of brother or sister.
Children's jealousy is not unnatural, it is caused by the fear of losing the love of mom and dad.Therefore, the eldest child can openly demonstrate a negative attitude towards the baby.
parents is important to choose the correct strategy of conduct to the firstborn did not feel lonely.We propose to use the recommendations that will help in a particular problem situation.
Children's jealousy depends on the sex of the child.Girls experience a subconscious need for taking care of the younger ones.Therefore, they are easier to carry away requests for the care of the baby and smooth jealous feelings.Boys jealousy expressed stronger, and they are not always ready to help in child care.
situation №1: Oldest child refuses to give his newborn crib
Correct to transfer the child to another bed for a couple of months before the birth of the baby.If time is lost, and the migration of the first-born is the same with an extract of the newborn from the hospital, explain to the older child, he has grown up and can now sleep in a cot for babies not.Motivate the desired action of the young "owner" help comparisons "will sleep in" adult "crib as Mom and Dad."
situation №2: Oldest child asks and feed him breast milk
If the firstborn is already out of the age of breast-feeding, do not deny it categorically.This will provoke a hysterical child.Correct will tell you that if the mother will feed the senior, junior do not have enough milk and he will be hungry.As compensation offer something tasty to distract the children's thoughts in another direction.
situation №3: Senior newborn child asks to return to the hospital
In this situation, parents can not blame the firstborn.Try to explain that a brother or sister - it's good, because when the younger grow older, children can play together.And if the senior during pregnancy with interest waited for the birth of a child, you can tell him that the child is aware of this and am glad to meet.
situation №4: Oldest child interferes with sleep junior
In this situation, parents can not be strictly insist on silence.Correct to offer the older child to speak in a whisper.Firstborn will turn this game with pleasure.Will memories on "when you were little."In this situation, the mother can tell the older child that while it is all a dream, too, spoke in a whisper, and not noisy.
situation №5: Oldest child feels abandoned
entrust their family members some of the responsibilities of caring for a baby, a young mother will be able to set aside time to play and communicate with the older child.For example, dad or grandma go for walks with the baby lying in a stroller.This time, about 1.5-2 hours, enough to eldest child again felt the fullness of her mother's care and love.
situation №6: Oldest child younger that causes pain
In such situations, the punishment could provoke a backlash.So if there is a risk of causing physical pain youngest child, children should not be left alone without the presence of parents.
situation №7: Oldest child takes the younger toys
This is not due to the fact that the older child wants to play with them.Thus he expressed his negative attitude.Rectify the situation in the following ways:
- interested firstborn new toys;
- explaining that he is an adult to play with rattles;
- offering older child choose the children's toy store for the baby, and do not forget to buy him something interesting.
situation №8: Oldest child tires of new responsibilities for the care of the baby
Oldest child wants to play, and not, for example, to roll the stroller on a walk.Taking a walk on air, leave your baby to sleep in the stroller and take time firstborn.Do not force him to play with the younger, otherwise it can cause aggression.Involve older firstborn in general play with the baby, so that he was interested.
situation №9: Oldest child shows sadness
Lacking attention mothers to the extent as before, the older children begin to experience depression.At the first sign of sadness parents must often praise the older child, playing with him, when the baby sleeps, more embracing, taking in his hands and kissing.Tactile sensations are very important.Oldest child should not feel shortage of parental affection and warmth of mother's hands.
situation №10: Oldest child "falls" in childhood
Firstborns often begin to openly demand so much attention, which is the youngest child, asked to take them up, feed, clothe, wear.Ignore these requests can not be, but also to satisfy in full is also incorrect.Look for the "golden" middle way: possible to place a child in her lap, pick up the stairs on his hands, laying, tell tales.After a time, the oldest child will understand that his mother loves him as before.
If a woman can not be a long time to recover after childbirth, the firstborn will be more difficult to cope with jealousy.He may experience negative to the kid because mom feels bad because of the newborn.
patience and affection - "medicine" from sibling rivalry
Parents need to be patient, to wait out the first six months after the birth of the youngest child.During this period, the jealousy of older children is particularly pronounced.And, of course, can not deprive of their affection.Results diplomatic, parental behavior will come later, when the children grow up, and between them to establish good and sincere relations.Therefore, do not scold for jealousy older to younger, do not call them fierce.
believed that the most jealous of the younger children are, the difference between which is 3-5 years.This is especially true between same-sex children.Older children are experiencing the emergence of the baby easier because they already may have other interests, including those outside the family.
to psychologists
Oldest child often jealous of the younger, when she feels superfluous.In order to avoid this, it is important to constantly emphasize that the older the child is very important, needed and loved.
Would be great if I can gently "switch on" the first-born in the care of newborns and constantly focus on the fact that it is quite big and makes a very important and necessary work of helping mom and dad.The feeling of self-worth can help firstborn calmer experience what the attention mothers and fathers no longer belongs only to him, and loyal attitude to the baby.
It is important that with the advent of a new family member at the first-born, like a "big", there is not only the new obligations, but the new law.Think about that of "can not, you're still a little" can be translated into the category of "you have a big - so now you can be" - it will affect the self-perception of the first-born, and will allow him to not regress to infancy, it is often the case with older children after the onsetborn younger.
Articles Source: vospitaj.com
