Selected fun memories of young mothers ...
Thank midwife for the kind words.She often called me a bunny that necessarily wanted carrots.
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morning after childbirth body ached as if I drove on asphalt roller not only along but also across and then a control check on the diagonal.
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waiting is killing me.My husband adds fuel to the fire: every evening he made a circle around the room with the baby presented to us for a stroller, "inhibited" by the sofa where I was sitting and asked me: "Where is the child?"
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I and after the first pregnancy brains have not recovered, and now, when it is a new belly grows, my tupizm apofigeya reached yesterday, going to the pharmacy and demanded 2 kg of cucumbers.In response to the confusion youthful pharmacist: "We have no cucumbers ..." grumpy and he asked loudly: "Well, at least give some tomatoes?".People in line behind me beat in convulsions of laughter.Before I also came only a minute and a half.
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I got pregnant on the job - a month or two on the line has stayed on the phone.And yet!ATAS!The minibus came and said: "Hello, my name is Anna ...." minibus somehow reluctant to me in response to hello.
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came to the osteopath for 7-month, he first, as expected, kept asking, writes ... The question "What month?"I frantically dug long in the memory, and finally squeezed - January ... It confused, in turn, hold the laughter, asked: "The month of pregnancy?"
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Once terribly wanted chicken.I bought the chicken, cooked, I ate.All.After that, I was not very good and the rest of the pregnancy, I could not stand even the word "chicken."On this occasion, in the family, it was renamed the "badger".Ignorant people are very amused in discussions soups badger, badger fried chicken legs, but most of all badgers eggs!
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at a reception: "Doctor, when I have the date of birth?" "And why you?" Actually, why am I suddenly interested in?
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contractions were strong, even between them managed to call her husband, saying, "I'll pour into the food snowstorm and close the toilet, when you burst, and then I'll tell you that you can not, be patient !!!".He laughed.Tryndets came the morning after childbirth - all the creaking limbs, like a terminator, not oiled, I slowly but surely started to move in the direction of the toilet.
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sonny When dragged from the belly - just saw, it was so easy and relaxed, which was drawn to sleep, apparently from exhaustion.I said, "Guys, I'm going to sleep, and you got me sewn up!" Anesthesiologist shouted: "Do not you dare close your eyes!" I conspired that I will lie with one eye open, and the second bed.
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My mother told me that when she gave birth to me, in the same ward was a woman who got up on his knees in front of a bedside table, thrust his head back and screamed into it.She so obviously it was easier to fight move.
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stitching on anesthesia still did, and I, being under anesthesia, was smiling from ear to ear, I heard the doctor say, "She's animated cartoons, whether that look?"
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Me caesarean taken out into the corridor, I saw - my husband and son in the hand is worth - so pleased.I drove up to it and stopped.He asks: "How do you feel?" Me: "OK, just shaking badly."My husband asked the doctor: "Why it shakes?".One so seriously replies, "Frost soon!»
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Two mothers, both torn, the doctor sews, humor.Girls are no laughing matter, do not respond.At this time in the corridor shouting: "Ivanovich, where are you-ee ?!" The doctor, without looking up from the joint, "Oh, I do not want to respond to rhyme!" Bellow all ...
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when I start operating after caesarean waste, open my eyes, everything floats and spins, obvozhu blearily around - nobody!I thought: "Now shout out loud, call your doctor Ali nurse know though as Lala.In fact, instead of the loud cry, as she wanted, she sounded hoarse, quiet, and somehow slowly pronounce the words: "Lyuyuyuyuyudiiiii !!!!!Auuuuuuuuuu, vygdeeeeee ??? !!!! "directly overhead there was a chuckle anesthesiologist (Top Cho then my eyes are not raised), as well drawl:" We zdeeeeees !!! »
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when Igave birth to a daughter, frequent fights, and there was no power to relax, I was shaking just from the pain, and I began to wail, "Save me, help me! Save me, help me!"The midwife comes and says I'm just like Winnie the Pooh, when he is in a burrow Rabbit stuck.
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came anesthesiologist.In a blue suit and mask.He puts me drip anesthesia and says, "We'll talk to you right now and you fall asleep."And I look - his eyes were gray-blue, just like the sky ... and I had a languid voice ask: "And what do you do tonight?"And felled.
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Time 4am.I wake her husband, saying, "I have poured out", and he said: "Well, to describe, to whom does not happen ..." and then abruptly sat down, blinks, jumps up and starts to cut circles around the room like a wound: "And Iwhat to do, and I do that ?? !!! .... "Then he remembers that my gynecologist lives in our entrance on the 3rd floor.Running back, calling the opening.The husband of his sleep "for the breast" and scream "there flows help !!!!!"He is trying to pull out of the apartment.Doctor when he realized who and what flows, relaxed "cause" fast "!"
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And then I started cramping from the effort.Krueger rests.His fingers curled, her mouth slightly open, so small muscles shiver all over and I cramp pyhchu midwife "Leeeennnaaa!I paralysis !!!Save me! »
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In a panic, I started to shove all that would need me at birth and after the backpack of her husband, who had just returned from a hike.In the heat of passion, with the burden and the stomach at the ready, I galloped to the hospital.The waiting room was not even surprised, just asked nicely, they say, why do I still in the hospital tent, places like enough.And I did not notice that she was neatly tied on the other hand the backpack.
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Another dad for the first day of discharge of his wife and daughter from the hospital.He sees how the wife, then her mother wear baby in her arms, and said: "Yes, you release it on the floor, even crawl."
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I as fun - an audio recording (thanks to her husband), my othodnyaka after anesthesia, when I sewed.In general, I lie on Rakhmanivka already after it was all over, walks next to her husband with a newborn daughter - waiting until I came to, the doctors have gone.And I have at this time of glitches .... Chic - graphics stunned as if I fly among some orange cubes.And uh, I'm flying to the lethal devices ... My husband said: "Sasha, uh, I'm in the matrix. Here nishtyak."And then my next turn, I grab the side handholds Rakhmanivka, and there have the right and the left hand broken off, and then I like ZAOr: "Sasha, a nightmare !!! Here in the vehicle wheel is broken !!!"
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After cleaning departed from anesthesia told all about the film and kotopsa AFB, in a corridor extending to stick to all with the question "Does it not seem that I'm a fool?"
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My second birth - rapid.From start to cry baby fights took 50 minutes, I only heard the cry of a midwife, "Do not breathe, and then the child will fly out the window"
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Pregnant brain - a gesture.I never thought that the words "Enjoy Your Bath!" Will respond "to hell!»
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When my sister gave birth (well, to be precise, in the prenatal ward has been the case), then clutched the doctor in leg.What type of begging for mercy ... Sincenails on the fingers were rather long, the first leg of her fingers chetyrmya pierced, and then anger tore at all (is this what he said to her, even to give birth early).The doctor cursed, trying torn away, but she did so out of hand leg and released.Only after birth could be selected and then ugovaaaaaaaarivali!
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And my uzist said: "Boy!Nuuu, if a girl is born, then bring me - have to answer for the mistakes! »
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went into labor.They called an ambulance.Arrived.I have a third birth.Contractions of the contractions.Emergency flashers turned on, cork, and we vstrechke ... with flashing lights!I have hooks, and my husband is sitting in the window watching, joyful reptile still such and said: "Zai, and we're going on an opposite!" The remaining 10 minutes, I vividly imagined how he beat a frying pan!It becomes easier.
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called me on the enema on day 3 after cesarean.Well, I handled a nurse and ran to the other dropper me, then she ran for the post, but I just go along stenochki so quietly barely.She asked me: "Demidova, you've been in the toilet?" I said to her in reply: "Nah, I run more."And she laughs, ran another nurse on the first laughter.And asks what are you laughing, and she to her, "Demidov Cross passes on the run»
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Before the New Year.Procuring food for the holiday.Just walk into a shop - immediately begins kicking the child (in-store music loud, stuffy).Therefore, I do buy in small portions in half-bent position (otherwise impossible to go).Repeat this several times, and very attracted the attention of customers and staff.I went to the store for the fifth time in a day, taking the basket, go to the stands, and I hear a little voice from behind a guard who makes the message over the radio: "Attention Protection! The store is the same pregnant! I'm up sausages, vegetables leads then to Leh, hereinafterlist ... Hehe, on whom he will begin giving birth, one in the hospital and you're lucky! "So me and drove to the supermarket, as a spy.However, the basket was reported to the register at the same time.
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as the Oral announcement !!!!!..... Demanded euthanasia.In the heat of battles confused with anesthesia !!!
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36 weeks.I am 20 years old.They put me in advance.At that time there was so much information available about pregnancy and childbirth.Itself More kindergarten.Throughout the pregnancy was a threat.And then in either eye.In the evening, it was suspected leakage of water.They gave me pelёnochku say, "Hike it, then send it for analysis."Time 12 o'clock at night.I can not sleep.I went to the toilet.And I look at this pelёnochke is something similar to a worm transparent with colored stripes.I started quiet hysteria.I think that then rebёnochka fallen off.I ask a question: what it is like?EYE!- It struck me.I nesus in rodzal.Deputy head doctor on duty.Take delivery.I fly and I yell: "Olga, my eyes fell rebёnochka !!!" She pulled a face so.Do mothers have stopped the fight, the midwife dropped a tool.Picture maslom.Ona said to me: "Come here."I told her shove her diaper.They started quiet hysteria "Durynda - a tube.Go to sleep.Tomorrow we will bear! "Then all this eye hospital I remembered for a long time.
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Now I'm starting to understand why pregnant women on maternity leave are sent - is not for the well-being of the pregnant woman, and for the sake of work!
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pregnant soul-darkness!A stomach - finally PPC.
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And we swaddle on the cat learned.She was thrilled!By the way, I tell you, baby swaddle is easier than a cat ... A child escapes though ...
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Pregnancy for a woman - it's like the army for men: time stretches endlessly tupeesh, get fat, we always want toeat and sleep.
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Once I had the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test.Placing an order, I suddenly remembered that my mother asked to buy valerian ... Now imagine the reaction of others, when I said: "I please the pregnancy test ... and valerian"
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Attempts went no strength... The doctor said that I did not scream, and made an effort, as if I was in the toilet in the big walk.I breathed deeply and started growling and screaming again.The doctor says, "You are great when the toilet go too well yelling? The neighbors are not afraid?"
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operating laid on the table, and I ask: "And what do you do with the placenta?", The doctor replied: "Pasta nautically!"
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Come with her husband in the US.Apparently, the doctor crushed the scanner is sensitive kid, of course, he did not like - he began to brawl, and then her husband's catchphrase, which we grandchildren probably recite: "Is he, legs wiggle ABLE ??!"All - a nurse and a doctor, I for five minutes could not stop laughing ... ...
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Gave birth to the first epiduralku.Hemming.
I: Oh, she-she !!!Schiiiipeet.
Doctor: And what do you suggest?
I: Blow!
Doctor: Yes?Maybe you still and lick?
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And we have a doctor in the world was postpartum.In traversing a patient looks at and asks: "Is not you happen to be yelling at birth that it would be better served in the army and shave every day?"The girl, embarrassed, "Yes, I ...", he comes up to her, shaking hands: "I fully agree with you!"
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I have to exchange the map says "bad habits - a cat."
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was an obstetrician at us there handsome - tall, healthy, dark hair and bright blue eyes.When he arrived, just woke up a neighbor for intensivke after cesarean and yelled at the whole ward, "Oh, Lord !!! ANGEL !!!!"The obstetrician was flattered ... I said it was the best compliment he heard.
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gave birth to a girl in front of me and she cried the doctor, "Doctor, I Kaka !!!"To which she replied the doctor, "Kaka Kaka NOT, BUT BAD BUNCH OF YOU ..."
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And imagine my surprise when I walked into the ward Crocodile Gena and Cheburashka in his arms and smiled broadly, but becausehe looked back and asked the old woman Shapoklyak so cautiously: "Well, how is she?" ... When I came in a minute, finally recovered from anesthesia kesarskogo crocodile gradually turned into my doctor in a green smock, and in his hands he held Sania -He brought the show.And the old woman Shapoklyak evolved into my mom ...
Articles Source: mamaclub.ua
