patient at urologa

- Doctor, I'm ill pisayu.

- What znachit bad?

- Poor.

- too abundant, or poorly-naoborot?Can vas muchaet chasto mocheispuskanie?Or are you ispytyvaete pain kogda urinate?

- No, no, it's not that.

- Znaete what?Here utka unto you, help with me, let's see what problema.

Fontan in all directions.Vrach drenched from head to toe.

- and this with vami davno?

- third month already.

- Take prescription.

- Doctor, a more kakayu I badly.

- No, no!By terapevtu to terapevtu !!!


- Last Christmas wondered.Dripping wax from a candle into the water.The resulting figure is very similar to the male member.Delighted, I thought - I find a good man himself ... No, just you ... year was with Left ..


Baba Yaga asks Snake Gorynycha:

- whom you most afraid of?

- Guess.

- Ilya Muromets.

- No.Healthy, but lazy.

- Nikitich?

- No.Force much, but too straightforward.

- A what?

- Ivan the Fool.

- Why ?!

- Oh it ... the fool, shooting at random, with the toads kisser ... bespredelschik


- Well, I congratulate you!In your new life is born !!!

- Doctor ... but I'm a man!

- Yes ???Well, actually, worms somehow anyway!


there are two medical students, in front of some strange old man stomping gait.One student diagnoses:

- Hemorrhoids.

- Rather, parkinsonism, - says the second.

- we argue?

- Come on!

old man came up to ask what was at that, and talk about the bet.

- We are all a little bit wrong, - says the old man.You thought that I had hemorrhoids, you - that parkinsonism, and I thought that pukni and wrong.


Client examines a restaurant bill:

- Salad - $ 5, hot - 20 dessert - 15 bottle of wine - 25 Total $ 65.And you have written 110 dollars.How did it happen?

waiter angrily:

- Well, then, did not work ...


- Daughter, are you ready?

- Now, Mom, just take Fublyu.

- Who ?!

daughter comes out of the room and shows a mother's incredibly disgusting doll - a terrible, bald, no eyes, dirty.Mother, involuntarily:

- Fu ..lya!

- That's right, Mom, Dad, too, it's called.


- You do what you do?

- People take out.

- But are they?

- they yell.

- A face has not beaten?

- Not yet.I'm an obstetrician in the hospital.


Ancient Rome.Occupation in the philosophical school.


- Tell me, little children, that should make the philosopher, if he changed his wife?

1st student:

- I think to kill her to hell!

- No.

2nd student:

- kill them both!

- No.

3rd student:

- A realized stabbed himself!

- No ... Well, idiots!A cross between a donkey and a bull brain rabies ...


- And what, what the philosopher must do ?!

- Yes, the same as always.Think!


- You kuda, Ivan-tsarevich?

- in the open field.Father told of luka shoot nA whose yard strela upadet - tam and groom brat ...

- A granatu zachem fastened to the boom?

- Yeah hurts marry neohota!


teacher of Russian language essay checked and saw the error in the phrase: "Experience in life comes with reptiles," but then I thought, and decided not to fix ...


husband naked in the mirror:

- plus 2 more to see and I would be king!

wife looking at him:

- A minus 2 cm, and you would QUEEN ...


Hello, Grandfather Frost!

Maybe last year I misspelled word Rorsshe.


- you say in English?

- What?

- Do you speak English?

- No!


SMS correspondence.

He said: "I was wrong, forgive me."

she: "I have only one question: how do you text messages hooves could print something?"