patient at urologa
- Doctor, I'm ill pisayu.
- What znachit bad?
- too abundant, or poorly-naoborot?Can vas muchaet chasto mocheispuskanie?Or are you ispytyvaete pain kogda urinate?
- No, no, it's not that.
- Znaete what?Here utka unto you, help with me, let's see what problema.
Fontan in all directions.Vrach drenched from head to toe.
- and this with vami davno?
- third month already.
- Take prescription.
- Doctor, a more kakayu I badly.
- No, no!By terapevtu to terapevtu !!!
- Last Christmas wondered.Dripping wax from a candle into the water.The resulting figure is very similar to the male member.Delighted, I thought - I find a good man himself ... No, just you ... year was with Left ..
Baba Yaga asks Snake Gorynycha:
- whom you most afraid of?
- Ilya Muromets.
- No.Healthy, but lazy.
- No.Force much, but too straightforward.
- A what?
- Ivan the Fool.
- Why ?!
- Oh it ... the fool, shooting at random, with the toads kisser ... bespredelschik
- Well, I congratulate you!In your new life is born !!!
- Doctor ... but I'm a man!
- Yes ???Well, actually, worms somehow anyway!
there are two medical students, in front of some strange old man stomping gait.One student diagnoses:
- Rather, parkinsonism, - says the second.
- we argue?
- Come on!
old man came up to ask what was at that, and talk about the bet.
- We are all a little bit wrong, - says the old man.You thought that I had hemorrhoids, you - that parkinsonism, and I thought that pukni and wrong.
Client examines a restaurant bill:
- Salad - $ 5, hot - 20 dessert - 15 bottle of wine - 25 Total $ 65.And you have written 110 dollars.How did it happen?
- Well, then, did not work ...
- Daughter, are you ready?
- Now, Mom, just take Fublyu.
- Who ?!
daughter comes out of the room and shows a mother's incredibly disgusting doll - a terrible, bald, no eyes, dirty.Mother, involuntarily:
- Fu ..lya!
- That's right, Mom, Dad, too, it's called.
- You do what you do?
- People take out.
- But are they?
- they yell.
- A face has not beaten?
- Not yet.I'm an obstetrician in the hospital.
Ancient Rome.Occupation in the philosophical school.
- Tell me, little children, that should make the philosopher, if he changed his wife?
- I think to kill her to hell!
- kill them both!
- A realized stabbed himself!
- No ... Well, idiots!A cross between a donkey and a bull brain rabies ...
- And what, what the philosopher must do ?!
- Yes, the same as always.Think!
- You kuda, Ivan-tsarevich?
- in the open field.Father told of luka shoot nA whose yard strela upadet - tam and groom brat ...
- A granatu zachem fastened to the boom?
- Yeah hurts marry neohota!
teacher of Russian language essay checked and saw the error in the phrase: "Experience in life comes with reptiles," but then I thought, and decided not to fix ...
husband naked in the mirror:
- plus 2 more to see and I would be king!
wife looking at him:
- A minus 2 cm, and you would QUEEN ...
Hello, Grandfather Frost!
Maybe last year I misspelled word Rorsshe.
- you say in English?
- Do you speak English?
He said: "I was wrong, forgive me."
she: "I have only one question: how do you text messages hooves could print something?"