often, arguing with relatives, we hear in the address accusations of selfishness and similar charges imposed on themselves - parents, children, husband, wife.During an argument a person does not think about how his words are true - emotions engulf the mind.And if you understand the problem of the cold, sober?
concept of selfishness
The word comes from the Latin root of the ego, t. E. "I am."Therefore, when a person feels better, worthy of others - is selfishness.If he demands a greater good, care, attention, love, privileges - such behavior also indicates the presence of these traits in his character.Brother does not want to share with my sister sweet, the husband does not want to help his wife at home - and it's selfishness.From school, we know that it is the personification of Larra, the hero of the story of Maxim Gorky "Old Isergil."What he earned a reputation as impartial?
from Larry to Danko
Recall the classics!Larry son of an earthly woman, and an eagle, the king of birds, was extraordinarily handsome, proud to arrogance, and believed that it can be everything: pick yourself the most beautiful girls of the tribe to steal cattle, impertinent elders of the clan and kill tribesmen if they did not want to acknowledge his superiority.It is selfishness, is not it?The same people repaid him for neglecting universal laws?No deprivation of life, no - exile!Even the earth itself is not willing to accept his death get round.Larra appeared doomed to a lonely immortality.Initially, the hero was even happy with this situation: it is selfish to say it.But centuries have passed, and loneliness began to weigh Gorky's character.However, selfish nobody wants to have affairs - that is the truth!And the opposite of Larry - another handsome, Danko.The people he loved himself more than his own life.Even the beating heart ripped from his chest for them.Both characters embody in concentrated form, pure altruism and selfishness - as two opposing forms of human consciousness.
Find the differences
How do they contradict each other?Many!Egoist lives for themselves, doing something for yourself.And even if you help others, it is not disinterested.Personal gain - that directs all its actions.It is an axiom for granted, it can not change anything.Because altruism and selfishness - the concept antonymous.Self-sacrifice, the recognition of the interests and rights of others, the desire to do something nice or useful to someone, but to its detriment - are capable people like Danko, "with the sun in the blood," as speak about the hero of literary criticism.
From Explanatory dictionary to the expanses of Life
best to help you understand what is selfishness, synonyms for the word.First of all, it's narcissism (ie. E. Self-love), selfishness (almost the same), and self-interest.Psychologists often say that modern man does not lack self-love.Call if they have to be selfish?Not at all!We dedicate a lot of time, work, home or solving immediate problems, shoulders WHO family, and all of these just do not have time to do something good for yourself.And then we complain about the health, moral fatigue, lack of positivity in life.What conclusion follows from this?Love yourself - not necessarily a bad thing.The main thing that it did not take hypertrophied forms!But self-interest - a phenomenon of a different plan, and should be overcome in themselves.Although it is debatable!
Double-edged sword
What is the main problem is selfishness, that we face in everyday life?The duality of his nature.When we consider the other selfish?If the "other" refuse to share with us their assets - personal time, feelings and emotions, knowledge, money, and so on. D. The legal question: when someone donates his own benefit bestowed, so to speak, than he is guided?Psychologists believe that the desire to please, to make a favorable impression.And sometimes he giver (donor) does not give itself in this report.It turns out that the main motive of good deeds, by and large, is the desire to look into the eyes of others better than you really are?If the "attraction incredible generosity" is not displayed, it means that we do not promotivirovali it does not bring up the desire.That is not only a "selfish" is bad, but we are not angels?To agree with this position the average person is difficult, because deep down everyone considers himself a "very good".And this feeling - a manifestation of narcissism!Solid dialectic!
«I" + "I" or "We»
How evinces itself selfishness in the relations between man and woman?The question is very interesting.In a nutshell, the answer can be formulated as follows: "You live for me, and I will also live for yourself."Namely: the desire to enjoy all that a partner can give, and an unwillingness to respond in kind.At all levels of co-existence of such a pair is observed hierarchy: one love - the other allows himself to love.Here there can not be equality, equality.Someone necessarily adapts partner, whether it's sexual preference, choice of dishes for breakfast, lunch and dinner, the distribution of household responsibilities, buying things and things, things, things ... Consequently, in a relationship of this kind will never happen replacing individual"I" for the common "we".If it is possible, under one condition: one of the partners in a marriage is completely negates itself, dissolve their individuality, their needs, will lose his personality.The sad outcome!There is no place for harmony, this equal and elevate human love, no happiness.And in the future, in fact, the couple either.
Family- market relations
And what happens if the fate confronts the two egoists?Such tandem or lead to the so-called syndrome of a scorpion, when one of the "lovers" simply eat the other or their relationship will be a kind of analogue of the family market.In this case, the position of husband and wife has changed somewhat.Whereas previously the dominant principle was: "I want you to do (a) please me, but the (a) you do not want to" - but now their family code sounds different.Namely: "If I tell you I will do what you want, what would be your answer to step in?" Or, "I'll do it if you fulfill it."And again nominated roughly equivalent conditions.Similar examples of egoism found very often in a marriage of convenience, and the basic provisions of future relations found in the marriage contract.Yes, and the marriage is, by and large, reminiscent of a bargain.
When minuses into pluses go
In business, important concepts such as business integrity, trust, honesty, partnership.If they are carried on the family level, all may not be as bad as it seems at first glance.Yes, a husband and wife can be a lot to agree in advance.Can conduct a common household as a joint venture.Can help each other in difficult situations, t. To. The prosperity (in all fields!) One another profitable.In such a tandem people even begin to treat each other with warm human feelings.Of course, if it does not change the very decency, of which we spoke.
Egoists necessarily and reasonable
in Russian literature of the XIX century, we meet such interesting concepts as "selfish willy-nilly" and "rational egoism".Author of the first - talantlivayshy critic Vissarion Belinsky.This is how he describes Gregory Eugene Onegin and Pechorin - heroes of the novels of Pushkin and Lermontov.What is meant Belinsky?His term, he explained, a person is not born selfish.As such it becomes influenced by environmental circumstances.Often, it is society that is responsible for the fact that someone's character was completely warped, disfigured and destroyed by fate.Then turn on the law of the boomerang - and the person becomes a destroyer had other people's destinies.The situation is different when switched rational egoism.This concept is introduced to the masses Democrat writer and public figure NG Chernyshevsky and justified in the novel "What to do?" What is its essence: to think highly of themselves, neglecting other, disadvantageous for the most selfish.Its not like him do not come to help, he did not rely on anyone.Agree, it's silly to put yourself in such a position renegade!Because relationships with others should be built in such a way that the personal interests of one person is not contradicted, by and large, to other people.For example, if you came to the cafe, ordered food, enjoy the aroma and taste of dishes, and next you put each piece into his mouth hungrily escorts have not evshy person, lunch will not go to you for the future.But having treated the poor, and you will feed the needy, and does not spoil your appetite.It is reasonable, does not it?
As you have seen, selfishness, egoism strife.And it is not always a disadvantage!
