In-law - a second mother?

Many young girls, finding the desired husband fall into "hell."They now and then share with their girlfriends, sometimes frivolous, experience."In-law - a natural witch spoils everything!" Or "Life does not give!", They say.Is it so?Is it possible to establish an important women's issue?And whether or not to try?Let's deal.

right attitude, you know it is important to lay the first brick of the relationship so that then the "wall" is not mown and does not fall on your head scandals and insults.You understand that in-law - a beloved mother adored your spouse?Whatever it was, whatever the situation may arise, but you must always remember that it is - the native people.Think, in fact she was sitting at the crib at night, caring and taking care of this little boy here, who now gives you so much happiness.In-law - this is the woman who has invested in your favorite not only warm your heart, but also the strength and health.She nurtured and cherished him, raised him to be a support for you and support.Everything you love about her husband, there was not "by nature".For many years, hour after hour, the woman his thoughts and words shaped the character of the beloved: for you - a spouse, for her - her son.How can you forget that?Daughter-in-law, and can hardly quarrel, if we look at the issue globally, mother and wife are to man the most loved and respected women.Should I empty strife, often built on frivolous selfishness, to break his soul, forcing to choose?After all, you both like it, I wish you happiness.

How to understand it?

Unfortunately, the above arguments do not help to resolve the simple but extremely important practical question.No matter how much to talk about universal love, and be sure to come across a indisputable fact: in-law - a woman who has both advantages and disadvantages.But even this is not the most important thing.We know that angels live in heaven.Here are all ordinary people.Daughter-in-law and do not differ significantly from each other on the "level of holiness."She just thinks and says is not the way you used to.Sometimes it is simply impossible to understand the logic of its actions.It seems that they are full of hatred, or at least unfriendly.In this case, it is recommended to set aside aside at the time of emotions and speculate.Imagine that the husband and mother in law for many years lived "in their autonomous area."No they are not disturbed, did not intervene.And now there you are!For him - a natural process.He chose you.And she should take this, even legitimate "aggression"?After all, you are "without permission" broke into her little world, breaking its established order.Sami-how for such will treat?

Is wiser older?

Faced with the first misunderstanding, daughter-in-law and try to prove "who is more important."That is, they descend to the usual competition for the heart and mind dear person, sometimes without thinking about what to give him an intolerable situation.Well, it is probably even more so often happens.You must not let things drift, "catch the moment".It is, anyway, the task of a younger woman.Why is that?Yes, if only because it is, you broke into her world.She does not owe you open it.If you realize that it is necessary to give way, in time to "step aside" to lend a hand is more important than to prove their indispensability, then you will find a sincere friend.You do not try to convince ourselves and others that your beloved husband brought neurotic with dictatorial inclinations?Is this witch could bring up such a gentle, loving, caring person?That's the whole point.Daughter-in-law and linked very strongly, though not always feel it.They - the guardians of peace of mind both beloved man.Who first will understand - the wiser.


There is another problem, which is sometimes impossible to explain to improve relations in the family.This jealousy.Woman has invested his heart and soul into his son, may not immediately abandon the "right to him."She does not wish to be considered (in the worst case) the fact that he had a life of its own.It does not speak about her selfishness or another moral vice.It is so natural that he did not immediately realize the woman.Not all analyzes their hidden feelings, perceived as common background.Before they still need to get to the bottom.It needs help loving people.It is not quite the same "monster" mother of your husband?If you gently push in the right direction, then she realizes that her offspring will put more, their own space.Just imagine, the bride and mother-in (future) meet for the first time.What everyone feels, is thinking about?Often the mother gives in the first estimate."This one will flirt" twirl "my son ?!" - she thinks.According to statistics, the first impression of the girl his son is negative.It's nothing you can do.It's not bad groom, mother's love for his son is great.She wishes for him the "ideal" woman.

How to cope with jealousy

But it is a matter of your upbringing, patience and tact.Do you know why this is the "black" jealousy-in-law may violate the marital relationship?Because the young are not confident!If you truly believe in the love of his beloved, then nothing will stop being happy.And when experiencing discomfort - you open the door to problems.Second - do not shy away from her mother in law.She herself does not "resolve".So do not need to think.On the contrary!It is advisable to attend and tact in your personal contacts.Seeing your sincere interest in his person, the woman will gradually change the first impression.Gladio, daughter-in-law, and will be best friends, even themselves without waiting.It is only necessary to take a step forward.Yes themselves through time can be in this situation.And do not say you will become like any daughter!Generations are changing, families are created, and the problem goes "inherited".She has one solution - to treat each other with love and understanding.

depends on men all (or almost)

in establishing relationships with her mother in law, it is desirable to include native spouse.Why you ask?Yes, as of the "glue" that will be able to perform a miracle for a long time and recreate the broken cup.Just do not ask "to talk to my mother."Will not help.But make a general holiday, to discuss burning questions without fail.Life consists of trifles after all.Today tea.Tomorrow - advice on perfume, then ask pie recipe.These little steps and well-being built.If you still connect your beloved, then everything will get faster.You see, you need to put on the warmth and affection that "flows" between husband and you, him and her mother in law.Over time, this cloud will grow to include all aspects of relations.

Tale for an objective view of things

Some would say that the legend of King Solomon is not quite appropriate.However, the meaning of it is that it is always necessary to remember and apply in practice.Remember how he was approached two women, each of which is to defend the rights of a child?What did he say?He decided to physically divide it by two.Naturally, the real mother at once gave way.The plot is at times reminiscent of the two angry ladies do with a beloved man.Only none is not enough reason to be "a real mother."Is it worth it to such a fall?You should always remember that you are driving is not just a fight-in-law, he goes on the soul of a living person that you (and her) roads.

to expand the circle of communication

Well, we focused only on the mother in law and daughter in law?After all, in the family are still people there.One person can serve as a "trigger" that is, the catalyst solution.If the husband, the wife and mother in law can not find a common language, it is time to seek help.Yes, but not in a hurry to run to psychologists.There are people who are ready to shower Sea medicines more useful than the state-owned talk and pills.It's your mother!Well, who else can so well understand the problem, but the woman who nurtured and cherished it for you!The recommendation is simple: let the mother-in-law and mother-in-together perform certain "major task".So experts advise.Two ladies can not get along if they have to just talk.And when they face the common (affecting both), the problem - there's beware.Burst anyone who will stand across!

When the marriage broke

know, divorce is now commonplace thing, nobody will be surprised.But if you have time to have children, the husband leaves, and his mother and remains in your life.Will not you deny your child a loving grandmother?And your ex mother in law did not allow it.You can hate it or suffer, but the kids will adore.Those who faced a similar situation, says the grandmother becomes another.For many grandchildren she is ready to forgive the former daughter-in, understand and ignore.Just do not recoup on the poor woman.There are cases where the divorced spouse is trying to blame the former relative to its failure.Nothing has not recovered, but their children deprive another loving person - it's easy.But why do it?

difficult situation

Fortunately, the two-in-law are far from each woman.Yes, and they have special problems do not deliver.Whether the first "cones stuffed" and then try to have a more correct to build relationships, whether it is easier to apply.But there are options when the in-laws begin to squabble among themselves, arguing, whose son, for example, baddest, that is "the best husband."What is this "rich" daughter to do?Recommendations made are reduced to the word "no."Let them among themselves "fighting", maybe they are bored, and not just watch TV shows, but also lead an active life!Let women have fun.Your main task is not to get involved.This is not a tactic, "ostrich".Conversely.This is a wise behavior: giving to others be as they are.

So who is this mother in law?

When viewed from the perspective of mothers of the bride, the mother is the husband of her daughter.That there is something not quite close relative.It is so erroneous statement that creates a lot of large and small troubles.No, family ties are all correct.Only the ratio is not built from the hierarchy of the family, and the like.And it was from the perception of each other depends on the harmony of nature.It is important.We talk about the little things - how she looked, what to say and so on.And in fact, we are talking about all kind, which includes not only the young and the older generation, but also children and other relatives.The node between daughter and mother, tied to the negative, can disrupt the lives of many people, anyway - much to spoil.It is advisable to remember that any of the "keepers of the hearth."However, it happens that both are very wise woman, fortunately for their men!

relationship between mother-and daughter - a delicate matter, but not as much so as not to understand this.If faced with inexplicable hatred, it is better to row and find that in the minds of members of the family.Sometimes such "stress medicine" is much better than a perfect rhythm and education.Openness in this relationship is more important than "civilization" based on mistrust and concealment claims.As the last argument of the mode depends on the happiness of your children, which have already appeared or will soon be born.Is their joy is more important than their own "bloated" pride?