a well-known phenomenon of "Jewish mothers" who worships in your child and baby diapers inspires: "Izzy, you're a genius!".If bad teacher would speak of her child, she said: "Izzy!We here do not understand.We go to another school. "Russian is sawing: "John, you're a fool."Educate children as nashkodivshego cat: "Do not go, do not yell, shit, kill you! Why are you so fat bastard? Go play with a ball!"And then wonder why among scientists, artists, bankers and players as Jews.The secret is simple: grow confident people as the natural result of a respectful education. Self-doubt stems from errors in education.
child imitates the reactions of uncertainty, helpless parents for life events.Six years before his mind is not able to process incoming information is critical.Direct and indirect adverse suggestions, beliefs, attitudes, prejudices, misconceptions and stereotypes of thinking parents who crowded to his uncertainty, fall directly into the subconscious of the child.Because of this uncertainty debris formed a bizarre bunch - its system of ideas about life.Direct bad suggestion - a phrase like: "you are not worthy of having", "not for Senka cap», «
So, is diffident creature steps into the adult world.But to achieve the goal, it can not because of lack of faith in himself.Ever since childhood, it is learned that all his actions are doomed to failure.Presenting himself a small man, bug, it overestimates the outside world.For example, the goal is in front of him to go to university.Not believing in their capabilities, on the one hand, and trembling before the authority of the university, on the other, it falls into a stupor, in a stupor.Outside the importance of university admission is tedious wait, and the interior is filled with the importance of the lack of faith in their abilities.Merged, they become insecure.All the energy goes into the anxiety, anxiety and fear.On examination of energy remains.
uncertainty - it is confidence, diluted by fear and reverence for the importance of the external world. Uncertainty brought to life by two main factors: internal - fear and external - reverence outside, overestimation of objects and phenomena of the world ( importance ).Uncertainty imbued with fear.For example, a person is afraid to swim (fear), thinking that he did not succeed (uncertainty).Or another example: a person wants to take a stroll in the evening, but feels insecure because of the cases of hooliganism in the area.When he learned that the police patrolled the streets of the district, the fear was gone, and with it the uncertainty.
Anyone experiencing uncertainty and discomfort, is out of its competence.For example, the oligarch seriously ill pet dog.His right "by shaking confidence."From confidence, certainly not gone.There was fear and uncertainty.He got into the turbulent zone of uncertainty.And now he is the best veterinarian.A veterinarian - uncertainty in the financial affairs of a person, but a true professional in their field.So it turns out: the veterinarian in Finance feels insecure in comparison with the tycoon and oligarch experiencing uncertainty in the field of medicine, where the vet feels confident.
Uncertainty - it's confidence with the opposite sign. As confidence, it is not only fear, but also on external factors and circumstances.We tried to prove to myself and the world of their own importance.It takes the lion's share of our energy.When you give up the desire to stick out and prove to everyone that you are a good and important, but just to be comfortable with their significance surrounding involuntarily feel it.Your self-esteem and self-importance will be equal to the environmental assessment.Other sixth sense realize your importance.
over insecure person, ie a person with low self-esteem as a sword of Damocles hangs significance of all external.The situation is aggravated when this is mixed and even guilt.Since childhood insecurity feeds guilt and drags him along as retsedivist conviction.Hence the feeling of inadequacy, inferiority and unworthiness.With such baggage life goes sluggish, hesitant and mediocre.At the same time, a feeling of guilt flock like flies in the trash, manipulators.Playing on the sense of guilt, they force you to justify and prove something.You lose energy and grow their uncertainty, and they assert themselves at your expense. make excuses to others, you should not.
Tell yourself: "I have every right to be themselves: to rejoice and grieve, to err, to make the" wrong "in terms of other actions to defend, if I am insulted.I have the right to have and express their feelings, evaluations and opinions are justifying and apologizing.I have the right to set their own priorities and to be himself, despite the opinions of others.Saying "no" without feeling guilty. "
Nobody has the right to judge you.Send manipulators home.Remember: your significance of the court is not subject to .The only way you get rid of the painful feelings of guilt.In other words, ceasing to fight for their relevance and justify abandoning the desire, you decide its internal matters of importance.It is just, and is manifested in two forms: anxiety about self-worth and a sense of guilt.
You do not have anything to anyone and do not owe anything to anybody.You love your family.Take care of her for conviction. Coercion and belief - are two big differences.The belief is no obligation and compulsion.Anyone who infringes on your personal boundaries of, say, "I do not have to be an angel.All people are not sinless.I do not have expectations of others, to tear veins and sacrifice their I for others. "
Also internal, you must still finished with external importance, manifested in the uncertainty and complexity of the problems.The saying "It's always better there, where we do not have" just one of the series.Not to exaggerate the importance of what the objects of the world.It causes anxiety and concern.For example, you want to get a job, but do not consider yourself worthy of desired positions - self-doubt makes itself felt.Fight for position - that is not the method and style of behavior.You'll experience worry and steadily slide into depression.These emotions will take all the energy.If you are aware of the importance halo reset to the desired position and understand that it is not that hard, most likely you will take this position.It turns out that in order to achieve positions that you fully meet, it was only necessary to reduce the importance of the post.The energy that was previously spent on mercilessly experience their worthlessness, now goes to the employer unobtrusive presentation of his best qualities.
Even animals can be caught on the exaggeration of the significance of the objects of the external world.On television, we are telling the story of a thoroughbred stallion, which could not be paired with a mare.He looked for the most beautiful mares and a stallion whenever in front of them pass.Then a dock understood.He smeared mud beautiful mare and stallion alive it climbed.The trick is that the beauty of a stallion timid, but when it smeared, smeared with mud, he realized that he is not worse or better.Men sometimes talk almost like horses.
often insecure person seeks confirmation of self-importance to the outside world by boorish and arrogant behavior.To this end, he can humiliate others, to behave aggressively.Hama and insolent - a diffident people.In order to somehow assert itself, to prove to themselves their importance, they are beginning to show arrogance and rudeness.
As for uncertainty: the terms in an unstable environment and not having full information about upcoming events, we have to somehow manage the risks.We do not destroy the reality of the situation, and the uncertainty of this reality.With the uncertainty can not be managed.Take the sphere of business or finances.Business - is the risk.If we do not take risks, it means nothing to earn it.Who does not risk, that, as you know, does not drink champagne, and not sitting in prison.We need to take it easy uncertainty as an inevitable fact.We're all in the same conditions on the same boat life.The main importance of the drop, and uncertainty will disappear.
