Guilt treats psychology as a reaction to the event, where we were not up to par, they brought someone often - fell short of expectations.In general, the emergence of this feeling - a litmus test of human adaptation to the society, the ability to assess their actions and to compare them with expectations.As with the, and with the expectations of others.Within a reasonable.We can be guilty, that is, to feel guilty if offended someone missed if we are responsible for the fact that "something went wrong".The problem lies in the fact that the lion's share of people tend to take responsibility for anything and everything over: Mom upset, so I hurt her.Husband angry today, then cooked soup not good enough to blame.And much more.The principle is generally clear.
That is often the responsibilities, and with it - the blame for something that could not fit into it expands.This wine belongs to the category of neurotic, and you must get rid of it.But to do so, as a rule, it is very difficult.The habit of blaming yourself for all the flaws of humanity firmly seated in us and do not just disappear.So how to get rid of guilt?
1. It should be more clear about the terms of your "authority."If this simple question is difficult, make a list of where specially mark all those actions which most often cause another bout of guilt or those moments, after which the fault occurs unconsciously: "Late for work," "Do not call when promised (a)"" The conversation with my mother, "etc.Drawing up the list, you can spend a few days in order to better understand the root of guilt.
2. When the list is ready, you can begin to analyze it.If it is based on a more or less precise and clear actions like "broken phone my husband", "Forgot about the anniversary," it is quite normal feeling of guilt to deal with which makes sense in exceptional cases.About them - below.However, if the list is made up of similar descriptions, such as "unable to fulfill expectations", "Something hurt," "vague sense of guilt when eaten bun" - is an occasion to reflect on how to get rid of the guilt.The more amorphous and vague wording, the more often arises "vague and unjustified" feeling, the wine lingers in your deeper.But we are already halfway to the solution.
3. With a permanent sense of guilt must be combated.Please understand, where the legs grow.Most of the "always guilty" brought up in a family with high demands.Children in these families have little or no margin for error, they are often compared with more successful classmates, neighbors' son.And, perhaps, the main: they do not learn to deal with anxiety and that, although less frequently cultivated wine.
How to get rid of the guilt, if you brought it in such a family?First, realize that you - have not a child, and now you are free to decide when to feel guilty, and when - no.Second, take your right to be wrong.All living people are mistaken, this (and this is an important point!) No one has died, the disaster not occurred.
4. This auditory training is unlikely to have any effect in the short term.Make it a habit to keep track of guilt and the idea has arisen to replace the other: "I have the right to make a mistake. I accept myself."Over time, if this does become a regular habit, you will note that the situation had previously served as a lever to attempt to self-incrimination, is now causing a different reaction.
5. Let us return to those who are permanently experiencing guilt in the ordinary and everyday, but completely differentiated situations (see para. 2).Think about it, if you have not caught on a hook arm?"Darling, you have not bought flowers, I'm offended," "My favorite, if you continue to cook so I'll dine with friends in a restaurant."You manipulate.How to get rid of the guilt of this nature?Take for granted the fact that each person is not just responsible for our emotions, but also have the right to choose their own reactions to your actions, whether it hurt, anger or other emotions.
Guilt - an unpleasant sensation.Psychology teaches us to deal with it.
