Immediately disappoint, not for all this will be easy.The most important thing in communication - keep track of your thoughts and feelings , and it requires some training.Identifying himself with his inner voice - this is a very serious obstacle in communication, because thoughts can inspire - to put an equal sign between Me and your thoughts, we allow the other person handles easy to steer the conversation back on track.To prevent this from happening, you just need to take care of yourself.Constantly, constantly.Initially, it will be difficult, you will fall into the thoughts, but with the practice of mindfulness will come.
But it is a topic for another article, but today I want to talk about specific feelings and symptoms that point to manipulation.
all comes with experience.And the best lesson is its own fault .If you feel that someone took advantage of you, or forced to accept the "disadvantage" solution for you, simply stop and analyze , behaved as a companion, what feelings you caused that was special in that conversation.
I will list some signs of manipulation (not all) that will make you think about in the dispute.
1. disadvantage
clear sign indicating manipulation.If you feel uncomfortable in the communication process, it is possible that you crushed, make you feel uncomfortable criticizing either permanently escape response.
2. Fear does not meet the expectations of
In this case, refers to your arm, depending on the views of others.Who would like to hear what he is selfish boor entered ugly, not justified confidence, and so on?No one.
3. Guilt
Ooooh, this is a favorite trick of manipulators, to appeal to guilt.The victim begins to make excuses, and wipe out their "mistake" by all and not very rational ways.The algorithm is simple:
- Gently blame human
- (You can throw a tantrum)
- ?????
- PROFIT !!
4. "unfair" conditions
Almost any communication, any communication can be considered as business negotiations.Each side has its own principles and conditions under which they agree to sign a contract.So, the ratio of "win - fee" should not warp in the direction of the board.If you feel that you lose more than gain - CAUTION!
5. Shifting responsibility
If you are sure that the responsibility for making the decision for any action is on you ... beware!Usually we do not owe anything to anyone, and the decisions are taken in unison.So why you have to make a decision at that time?Especially scary is combined with the illusion of a lack of time.
6. The interviewer gives the appearance of a lack of time
CautionOften lack of time - just an illusion.Take a break.One or two minutes of play no special role.Think calm.You can often delay the decision and did a couple of days.
7. infantile reaction
clear sign.Crying, aggression, rage ... Do not worry, it is also possible manipulation.Allow a break and stay calm.
Once during a conversation, you will notice one of the senses, of which I spoke, and you work the trigger stop to think: And you do not manipulate me?
Good luck, and do not lose vigilance!
