in human psychology, communication is important to the realization of self-worth - when they are interested, listen carefully, unwilling to understand.The interaction of people in society is built on the foundations of courtesy and etiquette.
One of the new trends in communication skills is the technology of active listening.Its essence lies in the friendly attitude to the interlocutor, the desire to understand it.Interest - the main reception of active listening. Knowledge of technology will help gain the trust of the interlocutor, to obtain from him detailed information.
in communicating with children active listening to better understand the fears and emotions of the child.He will learn to overcome their own problems.Parents and children will be more attentive, more tolerant towards each other.So there will be a harmonious relationship in the family.
Listening
during intercourse is not only expressive, intelligently speaking, but also be able to listen to the interlocutor.For mutual understanding with its counterpart, it is of great importance.To be able to listen to - so to perceive the flow of information from the narrator.The level of human culture will enable the interlocutor to listen politely, tactfully refrain from harsh statements disparaging facial expressions.
Listening depends on the type of personality, intelligence, communication culture, age, gender.Scientists have proved that women are emotional during the hearing, inattentive, frequently interrupt his interlocutor own story.Men are able to listen to the end of the information, mentally searching for ways to solve it.
Many professions associated with the ability to listen.That sellers, hairdressers, masseurs, psychologists, doctors, teachers, administrators, counselors.For important business communication efficiency and culture of the hearing.There are special techniques that contribute to the perception of information.Receiving active listening help support the interlocutor, show the importance of his story.
Types of hearing
Psychologists and researchers communication providing 4 kinds of hearings.
Empathic listening .This ability to read the feelings and emotions of the speaker.The ability to imagine yourself in the place of the interlocutor, to empathize with him.Empathic listening effectively if information vis or cause positive emotions.
critical hearing .This focused analysis of the information received.Her critical perception, understanding.Such a hearing effectively to make responsible decisions.It allows you to weigh the pros and cons, to agree or disagree with someone.
Passive (non-reflexive) hearing .This form is used when you need to talk to the other party.It involves minimal intervention into a monologue counterparts.
active (reflective) hearing. This is the maximum feedback from the interlocutor.Active listening helps to win the interlocutor.It allows you to influence his point of view.Receiving active listening evidence of common courtesy, attention to the words of the interlocutor.
What is active listening?
Active listening - meaning the perception of information.This communicative ability allows you to concentrate on the conversation to clarify the details, ask again.With this technology, the interlocutor feels the need for their information, interest in her surrounding.
ability to carry on a conversation, to perceive and understand the words of the speaker is only possible if a benevolent mood.Active listening, equipment and techniques it promote the development of trust between interlocutors.It is a professional skill and an art, the mastery of which can take years.
Failure to establish a dialogue, alienation of people doing active listening technology marketable.This process consists of several stages.
main stages of active listening
- sincere interest in the man, the desire to help him.
- attention to the emotional state of the interlocutor.
- ability to temporarily drop the critical judgment, to try to take the place of the speaker.
- create a favorable environment for the interlocutor, stimulating it to an independent search solution to the situation.
Interference with active listening
During the hearing, a person is faced with certain difficulties that interfere with the perception of information.
internal interference - it is their own thoughts, feelings.They interfere with perception, making the focus on a single thought or a whole complex thought.Dreamy or drowsiness also prevents active listening.
external interference - stimuli that cause distracted from the conversation.This may be the inability to communicate information to the interlocutor (disconnectedness and slurred speech, its tempo and volume), strangers, or distracting noises (telephone, repairs, sounds, transportation).
Active listening.His views and practices
technique of active listening is conditionally divided into 2 types: male and female.
Male kind of active listening skills more related to business communication.It is important the correct flow of information, its understanding and analysis.Therefore, active listening male species often heard clarifying questions: "where," "how," "when," "why," "how."
Female kind of active listening is focused on feelings and emotions.It is important not so much the accuracy of information as related to her or his interlocutor.This allows you to take the place of counterparts, to feel his mood, feelings.
During the communication should pay attention to the words of the interlocutor, to try to understand it.This allows to choose the right appropriate techniques of active listening. These include promotion, repetition, reflection, generalization .They will help to better understand the narrator, will contribute to the sympathy between the interlocutors.
techniques of active listening
basic techniques of active listening is the desire to capture the essence of speech interlocutor, possibly help him.Mastering these techniques achieved at continuous training.By active listening techniques include:
- promotion.It is to the interest expressed desire to listen to the interlocutor.At this stage it is important goodwill, the absence of performance reviews;
- repetition.It is a clarifying question, repeating phrases of the speaker.Verbal focus on the highlights of the conversation;
- reflection.It is to understand the emotions of the interlocutor.At this point, you can copy in moderation facial expressions or gestures of the interlocutor, thus expressing interest and mutual understanding;
- generalization.It consists in summing up speech of the interlocutor.This focus on the main point of all of this and how to find a compromise.
Examples of active listening
With regular use, easy to remember the basic techniques of active listening.Examples for training are as encouraging and clarifying questions, sympathy poddakivanii and nodding his head.
Promotion companion lets you tune into the conversation.There may be used non-verbal techniques (smiling, nodding, friendly eyes).In addition to these - verbal.These are the words "uh huh," "continue, please", "I will listen carefully", "How interesting."
Repetition better formulated as a question.Then the other party will be easier to point out the error and to voice his own version of the phrase.These are the questions, "I understand you correctly?", "Do you want to say?", "... In other words."
Reflection - is the ability to understand what is difficult to convey in words.The subtext can be found in facial expressions, voice modulation, high or low tone.These are the words "you are worried", "you feel that ...", "you think ...."
generalization or permission issues during the conversation slips several times.An experienced interviewee necessarily summarize, thereby making it clear that the narrator listened carefully and understood its basic idea.These are the words "I think I understand what you mean ..." "It seems that the most important thing here ...", "if I understand correctly, you have experienced ...", "in general, you have decided that ...".
Questions for active listening
During the conversation should not be distracted, and we must try to grasp the essence of the speech of the interlocutor.Find out what he wants to say and why.It should be timely to ask clarifying questions.They will help you quickly understand the interlocutor.
Open questions require a detailed answer.The more they have, the more volume will be getting information.It is the 'how', 'how', 'how', 'why', 'what'.
Closed questions require a short single answer "yes" or "no."Do not abuse them - they create an atmosphere of interrogation.They are best used at the end of the conversation to find out the state of the interlocutor.Have to agree with him, come to one solution.
Alternative questions consist of two parts.The first part - an open question.The second part - two or more possible answers.The other party the opportunity to select the desired option.
errors in the application of technology
active listening techniques in psychology promote full building relationships in society.Therefore, avoid obvious errors in communication.
- distraction from the conversation, response to external stimuli, their own thoughts.
- Inventing replies or arguments contributes to the loss of the essence of the conversation.
- Manual, criticism and moralization ("I told you ...") only interlocutor push to end the conversation.
- «parrot" copying phrases or words to the speaker creates the illusion of understanding.Insightful people will guess that he was not listening.
- can not interrupt, finishing the sentence for the interlocutor.It is better to give it to issue their own idea.
- To reduce the conversation to a senseless debate.
- focus on myself, translating all the words of the interlocutor on his situation ("and I was so ...").
Active listening in communication with the child
In children, it is important to know that parents understand the child's feelings.He is sometimes difficult to put into words all the things that he feels.Attentive parents need to help your child properly explain his condition, clearly talk about the events.
techniques of active listening of children - it helps in articulating feelings and emotions.Parents should understand not only the child but also to learn how to empathize with him, keep him.It will pull together and strengthen family relationships.Teach your child not to be afraid of negative feelings, deal with them.Will mutual active listening: parents - the child, the child - parents.
Father and mother should know types of hearings.The techniques of active listening children are in their demonstrations.It is necessary to show the child that he wants to listen and help.
- In an interview with the child should be on the same level with him, eye to eye.Defer all cases, do not talk to him from different rooms.Show the importance of dialogue benevolent gaze.
- tried to combine the meaning of the words of a child with his feelings.This will help to understand the situation.Prefer affirmative form (not a question) in the description of the internal condition of the child."You're upset because ...", "you're angry because ...".
- pauses child to gather his thoughts and to continue the dialogue.
- Repeat in your own words the main idea of the child.So it becomes clear that his parents heard and understood.
- Do not leave the child alone with his fears, challenges, experiences.
Recommendations for bad listener
It also happens that by the interlocutor should be as fast as possible to get rid of.The reasons may be different: a reluctance to communicate with a specific person to a reluctance to listen to long monologues.Based on the techniques of active listening, you can create an alternative technology.With the help of the interlocutor feel reluctance to communicate with him.What concepts do not apply to methods of active listening?
- Silence, lack of emotional response to the words, ignoring the interlocutor.
- permanent answer a question with a question.
- dismissive posture, facial expressions.
- interrupting the interlocutor, the transition to their own personal themes.
- During the conversation distracted by phone calls, to do other things.
- sharply criticize interlocutor, immediately pointing to his mistakes and miscalculations.
This alternative technique should not be used continuously.People need communication and empathy.Only in rare exceptions should remember what the concept does not refer to the techniques of active listening.It is best to politely explain that counterparts chose the wrong time to talk.Try to avoid annoying companions, favoring positive people.
recommendations for good listener
basic techniques of active listening promote compassionate interpersonal communication.With their help, the interlocutor feel the attention to him, the experience.Knowledge of techniques and skills to use them will have vis a sense of value that will quickly reach a consensus.
- Do not interrupt, interrupt the person.This method of active listening will bring the basic idea to the end.
- After the question necessarily wait for an interlocutor not responsible for it.
- Maintain eye contact, turn to face the speaker.
- Set feedback, ask questions, nodding.
- should not immediately hear the information to refute.First, to understand the essence of the conversation, to understand the motives of the interlocutor.
- not succumb to the aggression of the speaker.Patience and calm to try to neutralize it.
