Deny - not pleasant.How to ensure that the prohibitions were few, but they are effective?Here are some desirable principles ...
1. The uniqueness
Children perceive words more literally than adults.In addition, they are extremely sensitive to the so-called non-verbal components of speech: our intonation and facial expressions, and they first give any false.That is why they are often more perceptive adults.
2. Consistency
ban should not conflict with other prohibitions.Remember that you are responsible for every ban, compliance with which you require.The bans more and more stupid than they are, the less power they possess.
ban should not contradict common sense.Never say something like: "You can not shout" or "Do not touch my things."Follow these rules is impossible, and claim them - madness.
3. Clarity
ban should be understandable to the child.Older children need clear explanations of all the bans, otherwise they will take it as an insult and an attack on freedom of the individual.This is especially true of those prohibitions that affect the health and lives of children.In themselves, such restrictions are not obvious, and clearly show the child that will be, if the ban is violated, you can not.
4. Consistency
Decide to start where lies the limit beyond which your power end.It is impossible to be consistent, if the ban child up everything: you will quickly get tired and give up on everything by hand.To help you stick to the rules and institutions of child urge to order bans should not be much, but the ones that have, shall not be violated, and you should be consistent in this.
kids about 3 years perceive any ban as something directly related to the individual parent.That is why they often violate well-known bans them, as soon as you leave the room.And the only thing that remains - is returning to repeat them again and again.
5. Solidarity both parents
When Mom and Dad agree with each other in major issues, the child receives from them a consistent picture of the world and increasing confidence in themselves and others.If the Pope says one thing, and my mother - another child is forced to somehow connect in your mind parental messages.He can do it at the cost of internal conflict and "cater to both," or - to choose what is more to their liking, and manipulate their parents in their own interests.
6. Hardness
Give chubby little boy to let off steam, and then behave as if nothing had happened.Insisting on his own, try not to get angry, especially - do not try to behave "vindictive."Just do what you think is necessary.If the baby is upset, pity him.If you give him to understand that he spout their anger on you, done something terrible, you make him feel guilty, and it is - once the emotional load that the child does not have to bear.After all, his anger was sincere: he wanted more cake, that's all, because children love sweets.
7. Honesty
look at things realistically.Before "to issue a new decree" is aware of why you do it.Each freshly baked you a ban - a new minor injuries to the baby.The child feels with his whole being your true motives, even if not yet aware of this.
8. Respect for explanation action
Always try to stand on the position of the child and to understand why he did this or that offense.Justifying the motive of the child, you let him take the ban - with the understanding and punishment - with dignity.The kid is not bad, but he did a bad thing.If you confuse yourself for these two things, you give to your child that he is not worthy of your love.Punish, without humiliating, manages the fathers and mothers who did not entertain the idea that the child committed his "crime" deliberately.
Articles Source: vospitaj.com
