giggle?
exam conducted among two thousand British scientists could successfully complete only one British scientist - Vasily Petrov.
***
Tell me about yourself.
- Well, I'm lazy and smoke more lazy to talk, I'll go have a smoke.
***
woman came to the hospital to visit her boyfriend.Seeing a woman near the Chamber in a white coat, she turned to her:
- I can see the patient?
- And what he has to you?
- I'm his sister.
- Pleased to meet you: I'm his mother.
***
- I used to be fat, and I badly hurt.But the doctor advised me to undergo surgery.I was operated on, and now I'm fat ...
***
- Albert, you znaesh, kakaya raznitsa between slonami and fleas?
- Znayu course.In slona be fleas.And fleas can not be elephants.
***
Uvazhaemy Minister obrazovaniya.Cancel, pozhaluysta, napisanie works "HOW I spent the summer."Nasha uchitelnitsa pozhilaya intelligentnaya The woman ...
***
Ha dache.The husband yells to his wife:
- Dorogaya I kartoshku vykopal, ogradu strengthened, water nataskal!What else nado sdelat?
Zhena, zadumchivo:
- kazhetsya have viagry kakoy prednaznachenie something else.
***
teacher matematiki Petrov delaet children smarter.Physical education teacher Ivanov delaet children healthier.Teacher Ethics Belkin delaet nravstvennee children.Only a school janitor Sydorchuk just delaet children ...
***
I called the hospital.Nabirayu number.A pleasant female voice:
- Slushayu vas.
- Zdravstvuyte is registratura?
- It morgue.
- M-uh, sorry, pozhaluy I unto you a more rano ...
same pleasant voice:
- Nothing strashnogo, we'll wait.
***
ads (country club).
Lecture "All kinds of love"
In skobkah pripisano: "With pokazom slaydov color."
narodu evening at the club - not breathe.Out lecturer.
- Love tovarischi byvaet raznaya.If The woman loves a woman, it - lesbiyskaya love.
Narod shouts:
- Slaydy davay !!!
Lecturer prodolzhaet:
- If a Man loves a man, it is - gomoseksualizm.
Narod snova:
- Slaydy davay !!!
- And there, tovarischi love kotoraya paramount.This is - the love for the motherland!So now let's see slaydy ...
***
Ale!Hello, Zai, where are you?
- I'm home, I lay down to sleep.And you, Kis, where?
- I'm at the bar behind your back, sit at a table ...
***
- Znaesh that I nA you worth?
- This tipa compliment, or what?
- This melody nA tipa mobilke, ozabochennaya you are mine.
***
- Anya, hi!How are you?Marry has not yet emerged?
- Yes, a marriage?University should be finished.I want to make a career.In front of the whole world of unknown possibilities!
- Do not call?
- Do not call ...
***
only that my daughter came to me and said:
- Daddy, I want you to immediately wrote me from home.Hand over my room for students.Throw out the window all my clothes.Sell flea market on my TV, stereo, iPhone and laptop.Please take all my jewelery to the fund the Salvation Army, or donate them to the Red Cross.Then give up on me at all, and never more do not talk to me.Cross out of my will and rewrite my share of brothers.
Nuuu ... In fact, she said, not just like that.It made it all much shorter:
- Dad, meet my boyfriend.His name is Mohammed.
***
exam.Prof:
- Let's get started.Who knows by 5?
raises several timid hands, the teacher takes them and puts zachetke OTL.
- Well, who knows by 4?- Hand longer, satisfied students receive CHOIR.and go.The same thing - with Udy.As a result, some in the audience is students, tearing my hair out for indecision.
- And you, then, you know by 2. So, you want to retake .... Well, Retake.Who knows by 5?
***
A man drowned in a pond, despite the fact that he was a fish on a horoscope and shit like a man ...
***
- Thousand - and one night.
- No shit myself prices!
***
Peter smoked 20 cigarettes a day, Nick smokes 15 cigarettes a day.Q: Does not troubling to Kohl that Pete mentioned about in the past tense?
***
- Doctor, I have that halo over his head?
- No, my friend.That you have horns fused ...
***
I dolzhna revenge!I dolzhna revenge ... Yes!I napoyu hlam it in, take home razdenu, put nA krovat, nakroyu blanket and go, ostaviv nA zapisku table: "You were prevaskhoden. Tseluyu thy Givi!"
***
wife enters the bathroom and sees:in the balance is the husband and pulls the stomach.
- Do you think this will help?
- Of course!As I see different numbers ??!
***
- in life can be anything - reasoned Pinocchio after the wedding night with Malvina - from the logs can get the boys and girls of - log.
***
Grandma stroked the cat, suddenly was a fairy:
- I will fulfill your desires 3.
- Take that chair of gold!Wow .. I want to be young ... Cheers!I'm 18 years old!Turn my cat a guy!
Became a cat guy.He came to her close to him and said:
- Right now, I suppose, the hostess sorry that I castrated!
***
2020.Pharmacies were pregnancy tests new model.Instead of two slips are now in a special window 'specified "From".
Photo source: studere.ru
Articles Source: RUNET
