Tears, cries, the requirements to do as he wants - with children's tantrums absolutely all parents face.The hysteria of the child - it's a tough test for both sides.
child trying to cope with anger, resentment and other feelings that it is still difficult to resist, the parents answered irritated, feel guilty before the others and are often lost between what should be done, how it will look from the outside, and thethat can really help to stop the tantrum.Psychologies Magazine has prepared a few guidelines that will help you cope with the children's tantrums, taking into account what is going on with your child.
1. Demonstrate indifference
When a child rolls a tantrum in a public place, we often feel uncomfortable that may provoke our anger and irritation."Believe me, surrounding not think you're a bad mother / father, they are in such a situation rather sympathize, - says family therapist Miriam Chachamu (Miriam Chachamu), author of the book" How to soothe a complex child »(« How to Calm a Challenging Child », Foulsham, 2008).- If you do not pay attention to the whims of the child, it can be much more effective than if you get angry because children often act up solely to get your attention. "
2. What are the feelings of the child
Young children are very difficult to understand what is happening to them.They are not familiar with his own feelings and his own difficult to maintain them.It is important that you have helped a child to give the name of his experiences: "You're mad because I did not buy (a) you toy that you really like."It is important to express their sympathy and understanding.For example, you can say that too angry when you do not get what you want.But you can be angry in different ways, not all forms of expression of feeling beautiful, useful, and effective.
3. Include the child in the fight against hysteria hysteria
a child - it's a sign that he is unable to cope with their feelings.It is important to understand that he is not just trying way to get things done, but really experiencing great emotional stress.This will help you to not get annoyed at him, and to unite their efforts in dealing with hysteria.Come up with your child playful name for what happens to him: he was attacked by spitfire, came aunt hysterics.This will allow your child to turn its attention to you and see a friend instead of the offender.
4. Do not rush to say "no»
Prevent children tantrums much easier than to stop them."Many parents say" no "too quickly, which can instantly bring children up to the boiling point," - says Miriam Chachamu.Showing your child that you are on his side, you can prevent conflict.For example, you can say, "I would like (a) to buy you the toy, but unfortunately, it is too expensive."Such an explanation of his own position is much better than the short-cut "no."
5. Suggest alternative
Analyze the child's behavior and the situations in which it usually starts to act up, and pronounces him in advance the possible consequences.For example, if you're going to the store and know that the child can begin to demand to buy him a toy and hysterics because of your failure to stipulate them in advance that both of you will do in this situation.For example: "I'm going to the store.I can take you with me, but only on the condition that you will not ask me anything you bought today I do not have that possibility. "
If the child agrees that it will be useful to agree on what will happen if the agreement is violated."If you did start to act up, I do not have to take you with me to the stores (we're not going to the movies is like, and so on. N.)."So you can not only protect themselves from the children's tantrums, but also to teach the child to understand the cause-effect relationships of their own behavior and to take the first important choices in his life.
6. directs the energy of the child in another direction
stress on the child's body responds archaic reaction of fight or flight.So sometimes, to prevent a crisis, you can offer your child an alternative in the form of sports games.Jumping, dancing, playing catch-up allows free up energy that has been accumulated for the implementation of the stress response.Coaxing children to be physically active and offering specific options, and possibly your company, you will help them to remain calm in the rest of the time.
7. Allow the child to make amends
for bad behavior does not always rely punishment."The child may feel terrible after going to do something bad or wrong - says Miriam Chachamu.- And it is in itself a punishment.If you allow your child to do something symbolically redeeming his misdeeds, thus you non-verbally tell him that he did was wrong, but that you are willing to accept his apologies - this will allow you both to move on. "
Articles Source: vospitaj.com
